Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
it's like heaven, but drunker
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
