It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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