so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
