Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
