He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Come see our sink grown plant.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Randomize
