I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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