He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Randomize
