Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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