Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
