You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
