i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
