We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
