dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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