I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
