Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
either way he was missing a nipple.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
