just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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