Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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