We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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