loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Mom said you looked used
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
