I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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