Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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