Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
