Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
