I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
