yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
