i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i dont even know how to be here
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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