she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize