You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
