Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
