Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
