okay pat passed out under dana's car
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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