She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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