Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
