South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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