she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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