Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I still have a little drunk in my system
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
