I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I want to fling myself into the sun
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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