Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
