Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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