i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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