I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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