From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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