Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
