Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
