wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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