Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Randomize
