I am in a vortex of obligation.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
