guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
This is classic penis vs brain.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
