im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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