ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
