these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
you never un-have a 4some
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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