batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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