Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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