check it out our google latitudes are spooning
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
