just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
