What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
