Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
