the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
