Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
