There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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