she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
