marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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