Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
