how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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